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May 7, 2013

making things happen 2013

This post has taken me forever to write. I want to talk about some things that have been weighing on my heart. I feel like I have to be honest with y’all and with myself. Like the kind of honest that it’s hard to be. The kind that might embarrass you to say out loud. Like going to the dentist and saying “Honestly, doc, I don’t floss. Like ever. Like I don’t even own floss.” So here goes nothing….

 

Ever since Making Things Happen, I’ve felt overwhelmed with my ideas and how unhappy I am with the way I’ve been avoiding the “real work” of starting my business. I absolutely LOVED creating my website and designing my business cards and all that good stuff, but when it came down to actually marketing and putting myself out there, I got scared. And I’ve been scared ever since. I realized that I had been ignoring the fact that branding and design is just as important to me as photography and owning my own business. Since then, I’ve been trying to figure out how to do both of the things I love in the way that I love them. I want to photograph weddings and couples who appreciate and value photography. I want to design paper goods for weddings and couples who love typography and design. I want to be part of the wedding industry. I know this. What I don’t know is why I can’t buckle down and figure out how to make it happen.

 

I’m a procrastinator: that is my downfall. So I tell myself that I’m only 24 and it’s fine that I’m messing around waitressing and I can take my time figuring out where my business needs to go. But even as I write this, I’m realizing that this is an excuse. I’m afraid of failing and I’m afraid of success because that just provides more opportunity to fail and further to fall. So I stay “busy” and don’t really get anything done. Then I’ll do something like clean out my closet or empty my entire email inbox and I’ll give myself a nice pat on the back and feel accomplished enough to ignore my BIG goals. This has turned into a huge rant, but maybe that’s what I needed. I needed to rant, and I appreciate it if you actually read all of this. Now, on to the good:

 

Admitting all this is a big step for me. Saying out loud (or writing out loud) that I’m not working my hardest is embarrassing and scary. I’m hoping my honesty will do me some good. So I’m putting this all out there in order to be able to move forward. But it’s not as easy as I had once thought. I can’t just say it and it goes away. I have to work REALLY hard for the things I want to make happen. So here’s my plan: OOOOOK so I don’t have a plan. At least not yet. But step one is to clear the clutter in my life, both physical and mental. My head is so filled with ideas and I need to figure out how to weed through them. I’m gonna start by doing one thing every day to make my office space more inspiring. Each day I’ll be making steps towards creating an inviting, creative atmosphere that I will love to work in every day. But that’s not all: I also want to commit to my business….

 

So, I am going to start blogging EVERY WEEKDAY! Yep, every single one for the next 10 weeks. That’s 50 posts! I think this will help me “download” (thanks, Lara Casey, for this technique) my thoughts and get my juices flowing. I want to connect to my readers and I want feedback from you guys! I’m so excited about this!

 

Thanks for stopping by! Have a great day and I’ll see you tomorrow!

 

  1. Lauren says:

    Lauren – I’m right there with you. After MTH I was so fired up and ready but now I keep letting excuses get in my way and every time I accomplish a small task I let that satisfy me so that I can procrastinate my bigger goals. I’m rooting you on. Go after what you want. Make your business HAPPEN!

  2. Dyana says:

    I believe in you Lauren! I know you genuinely want this, and you are a hard worker so I know it will happen. I think you just need to do exactly what you are doing: getting your head in the game. And I’m here to cheer you on.

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